Title: Take
Care, Sara
Author:
Lindy Zart
Synopsis:
You breathe
in, you breathe out, and everything you know is gone.
Sara Walker
knows firsthand what it feels like to have your reality ripped away, scrambled,
and shoved back at you in an undone puzzle where pieces are missing and nothing
fits. She's lost so much and is struggling to live and to find the strength to
forgive herself for being human. With the help of Lincoln, her husband's
brother, Sara realizes it's not about finding who she used to be, but about
finding who she is now.
You breathe
in, you breathe out, and everything you know isn't gone, but
reborn.
Lindy
Zart has been writing since she was a child. Luckily for readers, her writing
has improved since then. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband, two sons, and
one cat. Lindy loves hearing from people who enjoy her work.
Author
Links:
Buy
Links:
“Remember
the day on the river when we went tubing a few summers
back?”
Sara shifted
the gear from reverse to forward, eyes darting over cars and trucks in the
immediate vicinity. “Yes. What about it?” She stalled at the stop sign, not
wanting to go at the same time another vehicle intended to. A horn honked and
she jumped, glancing in the rearview mirror at the large white truck behind
her.
“I think
it’s your turn to go,” he said
dryly.
The truck
crept forward. Lincoln laughed, which caused her face to burn, but Sara ignored
him, concentrating on driving.
“Remember
how Cole was determined to knock us off the
tube?”
The sun was
burning down on them. The inner tube bobbed up and down in the small waves made
by other boats, splashing warm brown river water on her. Sara smelled seaweed
and sand, the faint scent of fish in the air. She was on her stomach, one arm
under Lincoln’s hard chest, the other pulled toward her with her and Lincoln’s
arms crisscrossed over each other’s, both hands locked on the handles. Her
lifejacket dug into her ribs, slightly raised over her shoulders from the way
she was laying.
Water
glistened down his face as he turned his head to grin at her, his gray eyes
sparkling silver in the sunlight. “Ready?”
Sara glanced
up at the white and green pontoon boat and saw Cole watching her with a certain
gleam in his crystal blue eyes. His light brown hair was streaked with gold
from the sun, his body tanned and toned from working outdoors on an almost
daily basis. A slow smile curved his lips, turning her into a fiery ball of
need. Her eyes stayed locked with his, promises communicated back and forth. He
winked at her.
“You
know he’s going to try to dump us, don’t
you?”
“I
told him not to.” She glanced at Lincoln, saw his eyes were on
her.
“He
still will. You know that,
right?”
She locked
her jaw, nodding. “I do.”
Cole
laughed, raising his bottle of water in a salute and turning to the seat behind
the dashboard of the boat.
“Wrap
your leg around
mine.”
She shot him
a look.
The boat
started, a low purr filling the air.
He rolled
his eyes. “I know you’d like any excuse to touch me and I really shouldn’t
encourage your behavior, but unless you want to take a bath in the not so clean
Mississippi, you’ll wrap your leg around mine.”
The boat
started to move, gaining speed as it went.
“Sara.”
Without thinking, she edged closer to Lincoln, his muscled leg twining around
hers. “Hang on,” he shouted as the boat slammed forward, the tube gliding along
the river after it.
“You can
pull over now.”
She blinked.
Trees and rolling hills loomed ahead. They were almost in the country. Sara
shook her head. “No. I’m okay.”
“Sure?”
“Yes. Just
tell me where to go.”
He didn’t
speak for a time, and then said,
“Okay.”
“Why’d you
bring that up?”
“What?”
“The river.
Tubing.”
“It was the
first thing I could think of to take your mind off driving. Did it help?”
She nodded,
taking a slow breath. “Yes.”
“Good. Turn
left up here. The first house on the right. It’s blue. See
it?”
“I see
it.”
“And we’re
here.”
She turned
the key and the engine went silent. Her taut nerves were slightly relaxed, her
breathing close to normal. She let her hands drop to her lap, staring at the
red barn to the left of the house. A chicken darted past as she
watched.
“Way to go,
Sara Lynne.” He gently slugged her shoulder with his
fist.
She turned
to him. “Why that memory?”
He shrugged,
but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I told
you—”
“He dumped
us. He dumped us and then I hit the water and was sucked down. My lifejacket
got stuck on a limb underwater. I couldn’t get it loose and I was fighting to
undo the lifejacket. I even thought maybe I would die.” She was breathing fast,
the words stumbling from her lips.
“Sara—”
“You found
me. Somehow. You got the lifejacket off me and you pulled me from the water. The
boat was coming back around. Your arms were locked around me tight. You had to
be tired, but you never let me go. He was frantic, hauling me up first, hugging
me, kissing me, telling me he was sorry. You got into the boat, you spun him
around, and you punched him in the face. Spencer and Gracie were there, on the
boat. Spencer had to pull you off him. You shouted things.” She suddenly
stopped, a lump in her throat. She couldn’t say
anymore.
“I told him
he was an idiot.”
Other
things. You said other things too. But all she
said was, “Right.”
“Ready to
work?”
“Lead the
way, boss.” She followed him as he crossed the yard to get to the house, but
her mind was still stuck on that day.
“You
knew she didn’t want to be dumped! What the fuck were you thinking? She could
have drowned. Fucking idiot,” Lincoln snapped and turned away from his brother,
incalculable rage flashing in his eyes, stiffening his
jaw.
Sara watched
him storm to the back of the boat, ignoring Gracie when she tried to talk to
him. She’d never seen him so furious before—never.
Lincoln’s red plaid swim trunks were stuck to his legs like another layer of
skin, his broad back taut. She was stunned by his reaction. Looking at Cole,
she knew he was too.
Cole turned
to her, his features tight. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t—I was just having some fun.
You’re okay?”
She wiped
water from her face, nodding. The outdoor carpet of the boat prickled her soft
flesh and she moved to stand. “I’m okay.”
He helped
her up, wrapping his arms around her. “If anything had happened to
you—”
“It
didn’t,” she broke in, eyes on Lincoln. He stared out at the endless water,
profile carved from stone. He’d isolated himself from the rest of them, as
though he didn’t want their taint of irresponsibility near him, or maybe just
his brother’s.
“Because
of Lincoln.”
Something in
his tone made her glance at him, the flatness of it maybe. “Are you mad that he
saved me?” Incredulity made her voice higher than it usually
was.
He scowled,
dropping his arms from her. “No.”
“Well,
that’s good, because the alternative was
drowning.”
The scowl
deepened. “I know. It’s just…I’m supposed
to save you, not him. I’m supposed to be there for you, not
him.”
“You
were too busy having fun driving the boat and trying to dump us,” she
snapped.
“I
know. I’m an ass.”
Her anger
faded at the look on her husband’s face. It was full of
self-recrimination.
“And
proud.”
He nodded
somberly. “That too.”
She felt
herself soften toward him, as she always did. He looked so young, so pitiful.
“I still love you.”
Cole looked
up, flashing a grin brighter than the sun. “Good to
know.”
“But
if I was dead, I
wouldn’t.”
“I’d
still love you even if I was dead,” he retorted, trailing a hand along her hip
and causing her to shiver.
“Okay,
you two, it’s fun watching you almost make out and everything, but can we get
going?” Spencer asked from where he lounged on the seat, Gracie beside
him.
Cole moved
to captain the boat and Sara walked toward Lincoln. The boat lurched forward as
it accelerated and she grabbed the ledge to steady herself. She adjusted the
yellow swim shorts as she neared him, tightening the straps of the turquoise
bikini top. He didn’t look at her as she approached, his cool gaze trained
ahead.
“Thank
you,” she said quietly, sitting in the seat next to
him.
Lincoln
glanced at her. “I was scared out of mind, when you went under and I couldn’t
see you. I—”
“Earth to
Sara.” She ran into Lincoln’s chest, his hands steadying her as he set her
back. “Sleepwalking again?”
She
shrugged, her face burning. I
don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to
you.That’s what he’d said. She hadn’t wanted to think about what it
could have or could not have meant at the time. She wasn’t inclined to think
about it that much now either. And yet…why had he
brought up that day? Was he
trying to tell her something without telling her something? Was she looking
into it too much? Did he want her to remember what he’d said? Did Lincoln remember
what he’d said?
“Why that
day?” she pressed. An icy sharp wind started, tousling her hair around her
face. Sara impatiently pushed it behind her ears, not letting him look
away.
His neck
convulsed as he swallowed. But he didn’t look away. Lincoln’s eyes were zeroed
in on hers, looking at her in a way that made pressure form in her chest. “That
was the day things changed for me.”
“Meaning?”
He finally
looked away, tapping a pad of paper against his thigh. “Do you remember what I
said to you, after it
happened?”
She wasn’t
prone to lying. She didn’t like being lied to and she didn’t like doing it to
others. He was so intense, so still as he waited, like what she said mattered
astronomically to him. Lie,
Sara. For him. For you. Lie.
She opened
her mouth.
